2020 Vision

2020 Vision

It’s a brand new year, a brand new decade! Who will be the sports world’s biggest winners and losers in 2020? We gazed into our crystal ball and didn’t like what we saw. So we gave it a good shake and peered into it again – and voila, we’re in store for a memorable year in sports! Without further ado, here is our fearless forecast:

JANUARY

Trevor Lawrence passes for 4 TDs to lead Clemson to a 33-20 upset victory over LSU in the CFP national championship game. In the postgame interview, when asked how it feels to win back-to-back national titles, Lawrence shouts, “Awesome! Totally awesome!” (You have to have grown up in the 1980s to get that reference.)

FEBRUARY

In a rematch of Super Bowl XLVII, the Baltimore Ravens beat the San Francisco 49ers in a defensive skirmish, 17-13. Ravens safety Earl Thomas wins the MVP trophy after picking off two Jimmy Garoppolo passes and recording 10 tackles.

In a surprise turn of events, Colin Kaepernick signs a one-year deal with the XFL’s Tampa Bay Vipers. In his debut, however, Kaepernick defies league regulations by taking a knee during the national anthem. During halftime, league owner Vince McMahon announces that the game has been changed to a “Texas Death Match,” and Kaepernick gets knocked out by, of all things, a knee drop.

MARCH

The Rainbow Warrior basketball team advances to the Big West Tournament final, but succumbs to regular-season champion UC Santa Barbara in the title game. Drew Buggs is named to the Big West All-Conference First Team.

On the first day of the NFL’s free agency period, Marcus Mariota signs a three-year deal with the New England Patriots with the idea of developing him as Tom Brady’s eventual successor.

APRIL

In their 21st NCAA Tournament appearance, the Gonzaga Bulldogs finally capture their first national championship, beating No. 1 overall seed Kansas, 74-72.

Tiger Woods wins the Masters Tournament again, this time four strokes ahead of runner-up Dustin Johnson. It’s Woods’ sixth green jacket and 16th major title overall.

With the 19th pick in the first round of the NFL Draft, the Las Vegas Raiders select injury-plagued QB Tua Tagovailoa. “Is it a gamble? Sure it is,” says head coach Jon Gruden. “But we’re in Las Vegas now, so why not gamble? Honestly, I think we’ve hit the jackpot with Tua. Knock on wood if you’re with me.”

The San Francisco 49ers select Hawaii QB Cole McDonald in the fifth round of the NFL Draft.

MAY

Still savoring the Rainbow Warriors’ SoFi Hawaii Bowl victory over BYU? It gets better. The UH men’s volleyball team crushes the Cougars in straight sets to win its first (official) NCAA championship.

The NCAA announces that it is revisiting the possibility of adding E-Sports as an official NCAA Sport. “Why not?” asks teenage competitive gamer _NapoleanDinoButt272. “We got game. In fact, I got 487 games.”

JUNE

In a shocking-but-not-really move, the Cleveland Browns jettison disgruntled receiver Odell Beckham, Jr. “We need to surround Baker Mayfield with a more steadying influence,” says GM John Dorsey. The next day, the Browns sign Antonio Brown.

After 37 long years, the Philadelphia 76ers return to the top of the basketball world, defeating the Los Angeles Lakers in six games to win the NBA title. In a postgame interview, series MVP Joel Embiid credits NBA on TNT analysts Charles Barkley and Shaquille O’Neal, who earlier in the season challenged the 76ers center to be a more dominant player. “I listened to them and took their advice, and now we’re world champions,” Embiid says.

JULY

At UFC 252 in Las Vegas, Max Holloway outpoints Conor McGregor in a nonstop slugfest. Both fighters are a bloody mess after the final bell sounds. “Much respect to the man,” Max says afterward. In response, McGregor throws a bench at Holloway’s bus.

At Shidashita Beach (40 miles outside of Tokyo), Hawaii’s John John Florence helps Team USA gold at the 2020 Olympics. It is the first time that surfing is recognized as an official Olympic event.

AUGUST

With a roster devoid of NBA superstars, the U.S. men’s basketball team fails to medal in the Tokyo Olympics. The team’s starting lineup consists of Trey Burke, Seth Curry, Tyler Herro, Michael Kidd-Gilchrist and Larry Nance, Jr. Notes one basketball scribe, “We’ve seen the Dream Team. We’ve had the Redeem Team. Now meet the No Self-Esteem Team.”

The Cleveland Browns trade QB Baker Mayfield to the Detroit Lions. GM John Dorsey says the team can no longer put up with Mayfield’s immaturity. “We need an on-field leader who puts his team above himself and is able to avoid off-field distractions,” Dorsey explains. The next day, the team signs Colin Kaepernick.

The UH football team opens its season with a 37-30 win over Arizona in Tucson. Chevan Cordeiro throws for 3 TDs and adds another score on a 30-yard run to lead the Rainbow Warriors.

Marcus Mariota earns high praise for his quick grasp of the New England Patriots’ offense. He performs so well in the preseason that he is promptly traded to the Chicago Bears. Tom Brady denies any involvement in the deal, but Mariota confides to a reporter, “I think I just got Garoppolo’ed.”

SEPTEMBER

In his NFL debut, Tua Tagovailoa throws for 3 TDs as the Las Vegas Raiders beat the Los Angeles Chargers. It is the first-ever game held at the new 65,000-seat Allegiant Stadium.

One month after announcing that 2020 will be her final season before retiring, Serena Williams thrills her fans at the sold-out Arthur Ashe Stadium by capturing her seventh U.S. Open singles championship.

OCTOBER

After going 0-5 to start the NFL season, the Cleveland Browns fire head coach Jack Del Rio. “We need a coach who will provide much-needed stability and maturity to the franchise,” says GM John Dorsey. The next day, the Browns hire their new head coach: 2011 Charlie Sheen.

The New York Yankees capture their 28th World Series championship, beating the Los Angeles Dodgers in six games. Yankee outfielder Aaron Judge is named the series MVP after slugging 3 home runs and recording 11 RBIs.

NOVEMBER

The Golden State Warriors start their season 7-0 with a new lineup featuring Steph Curry, Klay Thompson, Jayson Tatum, Kevin Love and rookie James Wiseman.

DECEMBER

Clemson QB Trevor Lawrence wins the Heisman Trophy. When asked how it feels to win college football’s most coveted award, Lawrence says, “Gnarly!” (You have to have grown up in the 1980s to get that reference.)

Hawaii beats Marshall, 47-44, in the SoFi Hawaii Bowl. Freshman placekicker Matt Shipley drills a 54-yard FG as time expires to give the Rainbow Warriors the victory.

Cole McDonald subs for an injured Jimmy Garoppolo in a key late-season game against the Los Angeles Rams. The rookie QB passes for 3 TDs and scrambles for another score, helping the Niners clinch the NFC West. The headline of the San Francisco Chronicle the next day: “Santa Delivers Cole for Christmas.”

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